Endless Intent
by living-daydreams
Summary: After her mother was murdered, Kate did everything in her power to make sure the culprit was brought to justice; despite the constant threat it brought to her own life; kept afloat by the presence of her esteemed partner, Richard Castle. Now, years later, it seems the threat has been eradicated. But what happens if that endless intent to kill targets her family again? *Future AU*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello lovely readers! So I'm not sure how many of you remember, but I started writing this fic about a year ago, but since deleted it. I realized I had published it a little prematurely and didn't really have a good idea of where I wanted it to go. Well, now I'm 99% sure I know where I want it to go, sooo...it's back! It's my first ever Castle fic, as I've spent most of my time trolling the Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and Criminal Minds fandoms. You'll notice it's a little AU, and it's set post-season 6. **

**Hope you enjoy, and thanks so much for reading! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"Oh come on, Mom," Lucy Castle groaned, leaning against the window. "It's just one party!"

Kate Beckett sighed, leaning back against the cushioned desk chair in the office she shared with her husband, Richard Castle. Dressed in tight jeans and a thin white V-neck shirt, she looked up at her daughter, hazel eyes meeting blue. Kate could see the longing in Lucy's eyes, a look she became all too familiar with over the past sixteen years.

When Lucy was a little girl, she had never been particularly spoiled, but that longing gaze used to get her just about anything she wanted from her father. While 25-year-old Alexis was Rick's eldest and Kate's by adoption, Lucy was the couple's first biological child together. The spitting image of Kate, she had had Rick wrapped around her little finger from the moment she took her first breath.

Kate raised an eyebrow, giving her daughter the "look" that all three of the Castle children knew usually meant whatever conversation they were having was over. This time it was the conversation her daughter had brought up at least three times now.

"Fine then," Lucy said, letting her hands fall to her sides in defeat before shoving her thumbs into the pockets of her dark wash jeans. "I'll tell him I can't go. Again. You know, it's not like Alexander's house is out in the slums. I've been going over there since Kindergarten!"

"If I recall, the last time you went over to Alexander's house for a party there was no adult supervision, or am I a little fuzzy on that?" Kate asked rhetorically.

"Yet the one time I was allowed over there for a party, I managed to come home alive, if you recall," Lucy countered.

"Okay, Luce," Kate exhaled. "That's enough. I know how badly you wanna go. I'll think about it, alright?"

Standing up, Kate brushed past her daughter, heading toward the kitchen.

Following her out, Lucy noticed the front door open and close as her father announced his arrival home.

"Dad!"

The youngest member of the Castle family, Lucy's little brother Joey, raced to the door to greet his father. With the same brown hair and mischievous grin, Joey was unofficially dubbed – by his grandmother mostly – his father's twin.

"Hey, buddy," Rick greeted his son with a smile, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Guess what?" Joey grinned up at him.

"Starfish do not have brains," Rick said, looking at his son seriously.

"Close," Joey replied. "But no. Today, I beat Patel at Halo 3."

"Patel? Patel, the kid from India we've been trying to beat for two months now, that Patel?"

"Yep," Joey nodded.

"Son, you have done me proud," Rick said seriously, high fiving his ten-year-old before heading into the kitchen, unknowingly walking straight into the line of tension between his wife and daughter.

"Hey Lucy Goose," he greeted her with a smile, using the nickname he'd given her as an infant, and kissed her head as he passed to greet his wife. He kissed her and then, as usual, noticed the tension and attempted to diffuse it with his unfailing wit.

"Alright, please tell me there's not about to be a homicide in my kitchen because Kate you know how much I hate working on Friday nights."

Lucy glared at her father in response to his joke.

In truth, Kate and her middle child got along pretty well, as far as mothers and teenage daughters went. Arguments were uncommon, but when they did happen, both women were too stubborn to admit they were wrong.

"Just kidding," Rick said, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "But seriously what are we talking about?"

"Lucy wants to go to a party at _Alexander Fallick's_ house tonight," Joey said, taunting his sister. "She's been bugging Mom about it all day." He turned toward Lucy, making kissy faces at her.

"Oh shut up, you little booger," Lucy muttered, shooting her brother a glare.

"Luce," Kate sighed.

"Actually Dad," Lucy continued. "Mom was just talking about her _high_ hopes for my future; friendless, dateless, and remaining a virgin until I'm fifty."

Rick winced upon hearing the word 'virgin' come out of his daughter's mouth. "Well I'm on board with the last part there," he said.

"Seriously Rick, you know there's gonna be alcohol at this thing," Kate said, giving her daughter a pointed gaze and leaning against the kitchen counter. "And I'll bet you anything Alexander's parents won't be there."

"Mom," Lucy groaned, closing her eyes.

"Honey, I'm a homicide detective, being paranoid is half of what I do for a living," Kate replied, walking over to Lucy and placing a hand on her shoulder. "So forgive me for not wanting to send my sixteen-year-old daughter into the streets of New York after dark without an adult present."

"Honestly? I think being a detective has made you _too_ paranoid," Lucy admitted. "And besides, it's not like I'm going to be alone! Maddie's going, and _she_ offered to drive!" She turned to look at her father. "If Grams were here she would be convincing you to let me go…and you let Lex go out when she was sixteen!"

Lucy's grandmother – Rick's mother, Martha – had been in LA for the past week, helping a friend run an acting workshop.

"That's because Lex was nicer to me," Joey whispered, earning another eye roll from his sister.

"Lucy, honey, why do you want to go to this party so badly, anyway?" Rick asked, ignoring Joey. "What is it, like the social event of the century, or whatever it is you teenagers say these days?"

Lucy's heart started to beat quickly in her chest, hearing the lighter tone in her father's voice. Was he about to cave? Her quip about her older sister _was_ incredibly true, after all.

Her mother may wear the pants in her parents' marriage, but Lucy knew all too well that if anyone could get her to change her stubborn mind about something it was Richard Castle.

"Because _I'm_ sixteen now," Lucy said.

Really, she knew it wouldn't be the end of the world if she didn't go to this party, but it was the first Friday night of summer vacation and all she wanted to do was see her best friends.

"And where are we in the Yes or No department?" Rick asked.

"No," Lucy replied dryly.

"Hey, I didn't say no specifically," Kate said. "I said I'd think about it, and that I'm not sure I want you going if it's unsupervised."

"Please don't tell me you want to be there to supervise," Lucy breathed, massaging her temples.

"Oooh, then next year at school you'd be known as 'that one junior who brings her mom to parties,'" Joey said, heading into the living room.

"Joey!" Lucy shouted.

"I swear to god if you ever want to leave this house any time soon…" Kate told him, half serious, half sarcastic.

"Sheesh, I'm just saying…" he said, holding his hands up in defeat before sitting back down on the couch and picking up Pumpkin, the family's orange (and somewhat large) Persian cat.

"You don't even know his parents won't be there," Lucy said, turning to face her mother. "And since when do you not trust me? I get good grades, I take extra AP classes, _and_ I got elected soprano section leader in the choir next year. What else do I have to do to prove myself?"

"Honey, you know how proud of you I am, and I do trust you," Kate answered, her voice calm. "I just don't trust a lot of other people."

"Well, then, you trust my judgment; and you have a son, who will one day be a teenager, so you can't say you don't trust boys."

"Ah – to be fair, I only raised that boy," Kate said, gesturing to her son with her thumb, and discreetly swallowing her anxiety at the thought of her youngest becoming a teenager. Rick Castle's son becoming a teenager. "So yes, I can say I don't trust all the other ones."

"Seriously Mother, what do you think I'm gonna do? I've always been honest with you about everything. You think I'm gonna do drugs? Have sex?"

Rick choked on his water, sitting on a kitchen barstool. He glanced between his wife and daughter. "Sex? Who's having sex?"

Lucy rolled her eyes, doing her best to hide a smile. She remembered the "sex" talk with her parents and sister as well as ever. Ironically, Lucy's father had been the least informed of the group, and she remembered her mother had picked on him for it later with a sarcastic "no surprise!"

The "sex" talk had happened the summer before Alexis had left for college. Secretly, Lucy had known her sister had experimented with guys; she had been nine years old and a typical clingy little sister, always wanting to know where Alexis went and what she was doing.

Some of Lucy's greatest memories were of staying up late and having her sister do her nails and tell her all about Ashley, the guy she dated during her last couple years of high school. Alexis was so experienced, so smart and funny and pretty; Lucy looked up to her for everything.

Of course Lucy knew her father was concerned about his daughters growing up and experiencing the world of male/female sexual relations, but that didn't mean his over-the-top reactions to the subject didn't make her want to giggle from time to time.

"I'm not having sex, Dad," she replied flatly, trying to keep her serious tone.

Rick made a face, not liking the sound of this word coming from his daughter's mouth either. "Well uh…" he stammered. "We can…we can talk about, you know…all of that, if you want to."

"We did. When I was nine and Lex was about to start college," Lucy replied, slowly becoming more exasperated. "And if I remember correctly, you learned so much."

"Look, sweetheart, there are a lot of situations that you might not be ready to handle just yet," Kate exhaled, running a hand through her sandy brown locks.

"Well how am I supposed to grow up, Mom? I'm gonna have to experience certain things, if you want me to know how to handle them," Lucy said, trying not to get too worked up again, knowing that would get her nowhere.

However, both Kate and Rick were silent. Rick looked at his wife, who glanced back at him, the two of them having a silent conversation.

Lucy took a deep breath and ran her foot down Pumpkin's back as the fluffy cat rubbed up against her, curious about all the commotion in the kitchen.

"Alright listen," Kate began after a few seconds. Lucy glanced up, surprised at her mother's tone. "You may go-"

Lucy's eyes widen she smiled.

"On several terms," Kate continued, holding up a finger. "No drinking, or smoking…anything."

"Done," Lucy responded quickly.

"And you're home by eleven thirty. PM," Kate added.

"Midnight?" Lucy countered with a hopeful glance.

"Eleven?" Kate raised an eyebrow.

"Eleven thirty," Lucy agreed. "Thanks, Mom."

Slowly, Kate pulled her daughter in for a hug, not wanting to think about how fast her child was growing up. "Just please be careful," she said, pulling back and tucking a lock of Lucy's matching brown hair behind her ear.

"I will," Lucy said seriously, relieved this conversation was finally over.

"And no sex," Rick piped up again, pointing a finger at his daughter.

"Believe me, I have no desire to get naked with any of the guys I go to school with," Lucy replied dryly.

"Lucy!" Kate's eyes widen, gesturing toward Joey, who's gone back to his Halo match against Patel.

"Oh please, Mom, it's not like I can't hear everything you guys are saying And besides, I already know how sex works."

Whatever relieved expression Rick had had on his face was now gone.

Kate sighed, massaging her temples. "I do not even want to _think_ about the things you're hearing in school…"

"And um, Luce…when you do feel like you're ready to…you know…" Rick stammered.

"Yes, Dad. Always use protection and know you and Mom are always there if I have any questions."

Rick raised his hands in surrender.

"Oh, and you both should know that 10 is the new 17. It's not all coloring books and multiplication tables anymore," Lucy smirked, placing a hand on her father's shoulder. "We've officially entered the age of the Google search."

* * *

In retrospect, the Castle family was relatively normal, aside from Detective Beckett being the best in her field and Rick being a best-selling murder mystery novelist and her most esteemed partner at the NYPD's 12th Precinct (which, according to him, took her years to admit). They had three kids, Alexis, Laryssa – or 'Lucy' to pretty much everyone who knew her – and Joey, and a cat, and Rick's mother Martha – despite all of her son's jokes about kicking her to the curb – also lived with them in the loft. She was easily one of her grandchildren's favorite people.

At sixteen, Lucy looked exactly like her mother, tall and thin with a similar facial structure and hair color. Except for her eyes – that deep blue belonged only to Rick. Joey was the exact opposite – Rick's twin walking around with Kate's hazel eyes. Alexis' birth mother had left when she was just a little kid; Rick and Martha had been the only constants in her life, until Kate had come along and legally adopted her when she was eight – a year before Lucy was born.

Kate had worried, after finding out she was pregnant with her first biological child, that Alexis would shy away or get scared that Kate wouldn't love her as much, when actually, the opposite had happened. The little girl had bonded with her baby sister instantly, and to this day the two were inseparable. More often than not, Kate even forgot Alexis wasn't her biological child; she loved her as if that was exactly what she was.

An hour after the conversation with her parents downstairs, Lucy sat up in her bedroom strumming her guitar, practicing the song she had written only last week. Never having been much of an athlete, music had always been her go-to, no matter how or what she was feeling.

She was just about finished when a knock came at the door.

"Yeah?" she said, pulling the guitar strap over her head and setting the instrument down behind her.

"Hey you," Kate greeted her, sticking her head into the room. "You mind if I come in for a minute? There's something else I need to talk to you about."

"Sure," Lucy nodded. "Are Lex and Maddie here yet? I know you said Lex was coming over for dinner and I told Maddie to be here around seven so…"

Maddie had been Lucy's best friend since grade school.

"Oh no not yet honey," Kate said. "This is about something else."

"Okay…" Lucy looked at her mother with uncertainty as Kate sat down next to her. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah everything's fine, I just…"

"What is it, Mom? Is this about work? Did something happen?"

"Oh no, no everything's fine at work, don't worry about that," Kate soothed, running a hand through her daughter's shoulder-length wavy hair. "But, I've…never actually told you about this because, well, it's not really something I like to revisit and it doesn't help that I still think of you as my baby girl. But, I know you're not a baby anymore. You're halfway through high school…"

"Mom…" Lucy frowned. "This is getting a little weird. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I love what I do, but as you know, my job isn't always the safest and your dad and I have been caught in some pretty dangerous situations over the years. Some you know about, and some you don't." Kate took a deep breath. "A long time ago, a couple years before you were born…I was shot."

Lucy felt her breath catch in her throat.

"Wh-what?" she stuttered, unsure of what else to say.

Kate took her hand. "You remember what I told you about my mom – your grandmother? How she was killed before you were born?"

Lucy nodded. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she imagined her mother lying there, hurt and bleeding.

"Well there are some…details…that your dad and I chose not to share with you and your brother and sister that make things a little more…complicated," Kate told her daughter. "My boss at the time, he um, he got into somewhat of a mess with the group of people who had your grandmother killed, and it ended badly. He was trying to protect me and as it turned out…he lost his own life for it. Your dad and I, we were there at the funeral and I delivered the eulogy, except when I was standing up at the podium, there was a sniper…"

"No…" Lucy whispered, wanting to hear more but not at the same time. Her tears spilled over.

"Anything can happen, Luce," Kate said, running a hand up and down her daughter's back. "I love you and your brother and sister more than anything else in the world. I know how smart the three of you are, and I trust you…but you never know what could happen when you're least expecting. Believe me, I remember what high school parties are like – believe it or not I did have somewhat of a 'wild side.'" Kate smiled slightly and nudged Lucy's shoulder.

"I know how easy it is to get caught up in the moment and let your friends influence what you do." She brushed tears from her daughter's cheeks. "You just need to understand how important you are to your dad and me. And I never," Kate stared at Lucy, hard, "want you to go through what I went through. Next to losing Mom, it was the most difficult time of my life, and if it weren't for your dad and sister, and Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie, I don't think I'd be where I am today. I don't know where I'd be."

Lucy was speechless for a while, unable to get the image of a faceless man shooting her mother out of her head.

"Where um," she finally mustered the words. "Where did he shoot you?"

"The chest," Kate responded.

"And did they, did they ever _catch_ the guy?"

Kate sighed. "It was a sniper, Luce. It was complicated. But I'm fine now," she added, taking Lucy's face into her hands. "I've spent a lot of time trying to catch the people who killed your grandmother – it was why I became a cop in the first place – but in the end you never know who they've influenced, or if anyone is still out there. I just need you to be careful, so careful."

"I will," Lucy whispered.

The two were silent for a moment until Lucy looked up, for the first time, into her mother's eyes. They were glossed over with tears.

Kate reached out and pulled Lucy toward her, hugging her and rocking back and forth slightly.

What may have been several minutes later – neither could tell – they both heard the front door open and close downstairs, followed by the sounds of Lucy's best friend and then sister's voices.

"Lucy, my darling!" Maddie called, making an entrance as usual.

"Mom? Dad?" Alexis called, followed by a "Lex, did you know your hair matches Pumpkin's?" courtesy of Joey.

Kate chuckled.

"As crazy as this sounds I'm actually very glad you'll have her with you tonight," she smiled. She and Lucy laughed, and Lucy wiped her face of any left over tears. Kate placed a hand on her daughter's cheek. "Love you, baby girl."

"I love you too, Mom."

Kate kissed her forehead only moments before Maddie barreled into the room.

"Oh hey, Detective Beckett," she smiled widely. "I never pegged you for the partying type."

"Oh you'd be surprised," Kate grinned, and Lucy nudged her shoulder.

"Seriously? The guys at school would be so thrilled," Maddie grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"God, Maddie," Lucy said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Seriously?"

"What?" Maddie held up her hands. "Your mom's hot."

"Well, that is true, honey," Kate noted, getting up off the bed. "I do what I can. Dinner'll be ready in twenty, guys."

After Kate left, Maddie looked up from emptying her bag full of clothes onto Lucy's bed. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

Having been best friends for so long, Maddie could always tell when something was off with Lucy, and vice versa.

"What? Oh, yeah I'm fine," Lucy responded quickly. "Just…talking to my mom about stuff."

She didn't want to reveal her mother's secret yet, even to her best friend.

"You wanna talk about it?" Maddie asked.

"Nah, I'm good. Mom's just worried about us getting into trouble tonight is all. Nothing unusual."

"Hey, at least your mom's around to care about you getting into trouble. I know Christine's a single mom and she means well, but let's face it, I could get shit-faced and stay out 'til five AM and she'd never notice. Consider yourself lucky."

Maddie pulled a skirt out of her bag, examining it.

"Be careful it's not too short or my father will never let you out of the house," Lucy noted, walking into her closet and pulling out the pair of new jeans she intented to break in tonight.

"Mmm…good point," Maddie nodded, trading the skirt in for a pair of black leggings. "Pants it is. Speaking of which, those are hot," Maddie said, gesturing toward Lucy. "You should definitely wear them."

Lucy chuckled. "You just make sure that those pants stay on tonight, young lady."

Maddie placed a hand over her heart, pretending to be shocked. "Why Laryssa Castle, how dare you suggest I'd do such a thing. Taking off my pants at a party with hot guys…"

"Seriously Maddie, I mean it. Pants on," Lucy said, after changing into her own.

"Fine, point taken," Maddie sighed dramatically. "Jeez, Detective Beckett Junior."

Lucy's eyes widened, her mouth falling open in shock as she looked at her best friend. "You take that back."

"Uh uh," Maddie said. "Because you know it's totally true."

Lucy laughed. "Whatever, I so am not-"

But she was interrupted by Alexis calling from downstairs. "Laryssa Joy, get your skinny little butt down here; dinner's ready and I need proof that I still have a little sister!" A journalist for the New York Times, Alexis had spent the past three weeks in Washington D.C. for a work trip and Lucy had so busy with midterms, so neither had seen each other in a while – unusual for them.

Changing quickly, Lucy ran down the stairs.

"Heyy Lex," she smiled, giving her sister a big hug.

"Hey Goose," she giggled.

"I expect to hear every detail from your trip, meeting the French Ambassador and all, you big show off." Lucy nudged her as they walked to the table. "Oh and of course, the _boy_ you met," she whispered the last part, not wanting their overprotective father to hear.

"Well duh," she winked, sitting down. "Maddie, how are you?"

"Oh you know me, business as usual," she smiled.

* * *

An hour later and Maddie and Lucy were ready to go.

"Have fun tonight, girls," Rick said, looking up from the couch where he had an edited manuscript of his latest novel spread all around him.

"Bye, Dad," Lucy said, leaning over to hug him from behind.

Holding on to Lucy's arm, Rick turned his head to whisper in her ear. "Be sure to come back with plenty of piercings and tattoos, like we discussed."

Lucy grinned. "You mean I should try to give Mom an aneurism?"

Her father winked at her before she turned her head and kissed his cheek.

"Later, Mr. Castle," Maddie said, bumping her fist with his.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Alexis called from the other end of the couch where she was curled up with Pumpkin, who blended right in with her hair.

"And don't forget to say hi to _Alex_," Joey teased his sister, making kissy faces again.

"Joey leave your poor, love-struck sister alone," Alexis chuckled, pulling him in to ruffle his hair.

"See you later Lex; go drown yourself in the bathtub, Joey." She smiled sarcastically at the last bit as her mother entered the room.

"You outta here, ladies?"

"Yep," Maddie nodded.

"You'll be the only one driving, right?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course, Detective Beckett," Maddie said seriously, placing a hand on her heart again, and Kate laughed, placing both hands on her daughter's shoulders.

"Be careful," she ordered. "I love you."

"Love you too, Mom."

* * *

Maddie and Lucy drove just north of Manhattan to Riverdale, where Alexander's enormous mansion sat. The party was already in full swing.

"Looks like we're just in time," Maddie grinned, "but Jesus Christ I will never understand how Alexander makes this commute to school every day."

She and Lucy exited the car, walking inside. Right away Lucy noticed groups of their friends scattered around the huge foyer. The layout was perfect for parties, and, as Maddie would add, the rooms out of view were also perfect. For "other things."

"Lucy!" Megan Herrold, one of her good friends, ran over to her.

"Hey," Lucy smiled. Megan's blonde curls were flying as she animatedly began telling her of the many scandals of the evening – whose boyfriend cheated on who and with whom.

"God, we just got here, how is there already a breakup in the works?" Lucy shook her head.

"Hey, this is high school," Megan shrugged. "Survival of the fittest, man."

"Apparently," Lucy said, following Megan into the living room as Maddie went off in the opposite direction. For a second Lucy thought about going after her, but who was she kidding. Maddie looked like she was on a mission.

"Hey Luce, over here!"

Lucy looked up and saw Alexander Fallick motion to the empty spot beside him on one of the couches in the living room. She felt her heartbeat increase in her chest again. She may have told her father she had no desire to sleep with any of the "idiots" she went to school with, and she didn't; unlike Maddie, she had always been shy around guys and she had never had a real boyfriend before. But she couldn't deny, Alex gave her serious butterflies.

"I'm glad you came," he smiled, turning his body towards hers.

"I think it's becoming almost socially unacceptable to miss any more of your parties," Lucy chuckled. "Something crazy always happ – " But she was cut off by a loud bellow of 'Cannonball!' as someone jumped from a second-story balcony and hit the pool. "My point exactly," she said, gesturing toward the backyard.

Alexander laughed. "Ah Sam, I guarantee he'll try that at least three more times tonight."

"Agreed," Lucy said. She glanced outside; Sam, who she recognized as a kid from her chemistry class last year, was laughing loudly with a beer in one hand. "Although three might be too low of a number."

"You want anything?" Alexander asked, getting up from the couch.

"Oh, um, no thanks I think I'm good. I feel like some of this night needs to be experienced sober, so at least one of us can remember all the nasty shit worth repeating," Lucy joked. "And remember to tell you to fix all the shit that ends up broken tonight before your parents find out."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "But you worry too much, Miss Castle."

Alexander wrapped an arm loosely around Lucy's waist as they got up and walked together. Lucy felt the butterflies in her stomach shift into overdrive as she tried to remember the advice her sister had given her once this flirty relationship started – to just play it cool. Let him come to you.

"So you missed my last party," Alexander said.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I had plans; my sister was leaving for D.C. the next day, so…"

"Wasn't the same without you," he grinned as they headed out toward the backyard. Lucy blushed, looking down at the ground. At that very moment she wished more than anything that she could just grow a pair and kiss him already.

"Jeez, Alexander, how many people do you actually know?" she asked, examining the large crowd of students. "Does that guy even go to our school?"

"Luce, if there's one thing I love about parties, is that they bring new friends together," he said. She could tell he was probably on his second or third drink already.

"Just…make sure the guy selling crack every night in Central Park doesn't make his way in here, okay?" she said, immediately cursing herself at the bad joke.

But to her relief, Alexander laughed. "Consider it a deal."

Lucy had been at the party for a couple of hours when she checked her phone: 11:15.

"Crap, I gotta go." She looked at Alexander apologetically as they watch a heated game of flip cup.

"You mean to tell me you're not at all excited to see who wins this match?" Alexander said, somewhat sarcastically.

"Honestly I don't think they even know who's winning," Lucy noted. Pretty much every single person at the table was chugging from a red solo cup.

"Touché," Alexander agreed.

Lucy stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Next time. Next time I will stay and watch flip cup matches with you all night. I might even jump in the pool fully clothed, to make things more interesting."

He held out a fist in response and she pounded it before waving and going to find Maddie. She hoped her cheeks hadn't been too flushed; Alexander was nothing if not completely gorgeous.

"Maddie!" she called, entering the living room. "Maddie!" Her best friend was nowhere to be found. Lucy exhaled, blowing her side bangs back out of her face, before walking briskly down the downstairs hallway and opening the first bedroom door she could find. Naturally, there was Maddie.

"Hey," I call. "It's time to head out; we're officially late."

"Crap, your mom's gonna kill me." Maddie jumped off the bed, leaving behind a recently graduated senior Lucy didn't recognize.

"Oh boy. Never again," Maddie muttered, sliding into her jacket and following Lucy out of the room.

"That bad?" Lucy questioned as they headed toward the car.

"Holy shit, I swear to god it was gonna take three hours before he, you know…" she waved her arms around for emphasis.

Lucy gave her a look. "I actually didn't need to know that…but I'm glad the pants stayed on. I'm proud."

Maddie stopped suddenly, turning to look at a couple of guys wrestling in the front yard.

"Keep walkin.'" Lucy grabbed her arm, already afraid of having to deal with her mother once they got home.

Maddie groaned and searched for her keys in her bag. She found them not long before she dropped them on the ground.

"You need me to drive?" Lucy asked, just in case.

"No," Maddie replied, as if that were a stupid question. "I'm fine. Let's go."

The two climbed into Maddie's car and started the drive home, before Maddie started swerving a little. Lucy gave her a look.

"You _are_ drunk!" she realized, staring at her best friend.

Maddie glanced at her friend and widened her eyes.

"So I had a couple beers," she retorted.

"Fuck. Maddie," Lucy rested her head in her hand. "What the hell?"

"Lucy, come on. I'm fine."

"Seriously, pull over and I'll drive the rest of the way back," Lucy said, looking at Maddie seriously. Except this time when she looked forward again, all that was visible were two huge headlights, which she thought was strange given that they were still in the correct lane. She heard a horn honking before a shrill scream pierced the air. Glass shattered all around her, before everything went black.

Her mother was right, bad things did happen.

* * *

**Thank you all so much for reading, and please do let me know if you'd like me to continue! Chapter 2 will have more of the entire Castle family, and I'll get a little more into the plot. Reviews are always welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for the kind responses to my first chapter. Just to clear a few things up though; one, yes I am going to finish this story this time. Two, no I am not going to follow the show 100% because where's the fun in that? This is Fanfiction. haha. And three, I bumped Alexis' age up to 25 instead of 23 just to avoid any more confusion, but again, this is Fanfiction. Alexis will be younger than she would be if this were the real show, and she's Beckett's adopted daughter because I really wanted her to be a part of the family, rather than just the 18+ years older step-child/half-sibling (and I have a general distaste for Meredith anyway). **

**Anyway, here's chapter 2 for you...hope you enjoy, and thanks again for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 2**

"I'm not saying she should never go to parties, I'm just saying I wish she wasn't in such a hurry to grow up," Kate sighed, cuddling up next to her husband on the couch. The fire in the fireplace crackled, the small flames lighting up the room. Alexis had gone home about an hour ago, just before Joey had been put to bed.

"I know what you mean," Rick replied, wrapping an arm around his wife's shoulders and pulling her close. "I think Alexis started kindergarten what, yesterday?"

Kate laughed softly.

"Except now she's all grown up, graduated with a full time job, and here we are with two more kids, and a cat for crying out loud," she said.

"Kate, I think it's safe to say we're getting old," Rick said, turning his head to look at her.

"Hey, speak for yourself Castle," she retorted, sipping a glass of white wine. "I'm not the one getting out of breath just from chasing one suspect two blocks down Fifth."

"Alright, point taken," Rick said, kissing the side of his wife's head. If there was one thing the women in his family liked to pick on him for, it was his lack of love for fitness. "But, even if I am getting old," he continued, tilting Kate's chin up with his hand. "I know you've been madly in love with me since the moment you laid eyes on me…"

He smirked.

Kate tilted her head back, letting out a single laugh. Another romantic moment thwarted by a classic Castle remark.

"Oh puh-lease," she smiled. "We've had this conversation _so_ many times. It was _you_ who was madly in love with _me_. I on the other hand, thought you were mostly a pain in the ass."

"Ah, still in denial I see," Rick teased, kissing her cheek, down to her neck and collar bone. Kate sighed contentedly. "I'm not a pain in the ass anymore though, am I?" he asked quickly, pulling back to look her in the eye again.

"Only sometimes," Kate smirked, setting her glass down on the table before placing a hand on her husband's cheek. "But since I did marry you I've learned to tolerate it."

Rick kissed her on the mouth in response.

"It was so nice having everyone home today though," Kate said, breaking away from the kiss. "As crazy as this sounds, sometimes I forget Alexis doesn't live here anymore, until I have to say goodbye and watch her walk out the door. I guess…I guess I'm just not ready for that to happen with Lucy too; she's still my little girl. And then Joey…" Her voice trailed off.

Rick squeezed his wife tighter, feeling a pang in his chest as he remembered the day he and his mother had moved Alexis into her freshman dorm at Columbia. Kate had had to work that day – she had gone over later that evening to help her unpack – so Rick had had some time to say goodbye to his eldest daughter by himself. To him, even though Alexis had only been moving a few miles away, it all felt rather symbolic. The Castle family had begun just him and his little fiery-haired daughter; it only seemed right that he be the one to take this first step into her adult life with her.

"I can't believe I'm going to be the one to say this," he began, clearing his throat. "But we both knew, having kids, that this day would come, right?"

Kate raised an eyebrow, looking at him. "You're right, I really can't believe I'm hearing that from you, given how after you dropped Alexis off at Columbia you cried for three days."

"Okay, that is officially the last time I try to comfort you," Rick said, holding a hand up in defeat.

"Don't worry, Castle, I'm not trying to question your masculinity or anything," she responded.

"Oh no, because that never happens, living in a house with three – sometimes four – women," he countered.

"Hmm…well maybe this will help…" Kate whispered, leaning in to kiss him softly.

"Mmm…" he muttered. "Yeah, yeah that does help…"

Kate loved these moments with her husband, alone time in the evenings to talk about life, work, the kids…she could banter with him for hours, and she always knew no matter how much they made fun of each other (or, on occasion, fought), she loved Richard Castle more than she'd ever loved another man.

Save for her mother's death, he had been there with her, and for her, through everything. He had loved her even when she had thought herself unlovable. He had broken through her wall or, "peeled the Beckett onion," as he would say. He knew her better than anyone, understood her better than anyone. And she had never really thought of herself becoming a mother until she had met Rick either.

It had taken her a while, but once she finally did say 'I love you' to him, she knew she never wanted to say it to another man – except for her son – for as long as she lived.

Before she knew it, their kiss got heated. Everything around her faded into the background; nothing existed but her and her husband. She ran her hand through his smooth hair as he leaned her back on the couch, their tongues in battle with one another. She began undoing the buttons on his shirt as he tugged at hers…

They were both busy – Kate with her cases and Rick with his newest book – so this was the perfect time. They were all alone, it was getting late…

Suddenly, Kate pushed him back slightly, remembering something.

"Wait," she said.

"What is it?" Rick asked, his forehead creasing as he looked down at her.

Placing a hand on his chest, she leaned him back as she sat up.

"Oh, it's nothing I just…I told Luce to be home by eleven thirty and I just wanna make sure she's not gonna walk in on us…"

"Right," Rick nodded, making a face at the thought of his sixteen-year-old daughter walking in on him and his wife. He wasn't sure who would be more traumatized – her, or him.

Standing up, Kate walked into the kitchen, only far enough to see the time on the microwave before her heart began to race. The clock read 12:17. Her daughter, who had never, ever, missed a curfew before no matter how badly she wanted to, was over forty five minutes late.

"Rick," Kate called out, worriedly.

"What?" he replied, standing up to join her.

"It's past midnight. Lucy was supposed to be home over forty five minutes ago," she said, her eyes growing big with worry as she folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself.

Rick tried to stay calm, at least for his wife's sake. "I'm sure it's nothing, she and Maddie probably just got stuck in traffic or something, you know, Friday night in New York…I'll try calling her."

Rick pulled out his cell phone just ask Kate grabbed hers from the counter, her fear only increasing when she noticed she had no missed calls. Lucy was late, and she hadn't called.

"Straight to voicemail," Rick said, looking at Kate, who suddenly felt like she wanted to cry.

Kate's mind immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario; her daughter lying somewhere dead, just like her mother.

Rick's brow furrowed, feeling his wife's tension and worry without even touching her. Secretly, he felt just as worried, but it wouldn't do either of them any good for him to show it.

"Try Maddie," Kate insisted, trying to keep her voice from breaking.

Rick entered the number, but the same thing happened – straight to voicemail.

"No luck," he sighed. "Maybe they just lost track of time?"

At this moment he found himself wishing with everything he had that that was the case. Alexis had done it before when she was out with her friends…then again Alexis had also been kidnapped while she was out with friends.

"And turned _both_ of their cell phones off? I've been a detective for over twenty years Rick, there's something else going on here," Kate said.

"Okay well right now maybe being a detective for over twenty years has you overthinking a little bit. She's a teenager, Kate, who's never really done anything too serious, mind you," Rick said, trying to convince himself as much as his wife. "Remember the time Alexis came home two hours late? She was fine, just lost track of time."

"Oh yeah, well I also happen to remember her getting _kidnapped_ her first year of college too," Kate snapped, immediately regretting her words after seeing the look on her husband's face. "I'm sorry, I know that's not helping."

"Yeah well," Rick sighed, running a hand through his hair. "As much as I don't like to remember that, you're right. Why don't we just give it another-"

But the sound of the landline ringing interrupted him. Kate rushed to the phone.

"Luce?" she spoke into the receiver.

"_Is this the Castle residence?"_

An unknown voice responded.

"Yes, who is this?" Kate asked uncertainly.

"_This is Doctor Taylor over at Lenox Hill. Your daughter Laryssa was in a car accident with another girl…"_

"What?" Kate breathed into the phone, her eyes glossing over with tears. _Not my baby girl_, she thought.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" Rick came and stood next to her, close to the phone, but she ignored him.

"_She's down in the emergency department now, if you'd like to…"_

"We're on our way."

Kate hung up the phone quickly, running upstairs to grab a sweater and shoes.

"Kate! What's going on?" Rick followed close behind. "Who was that?"

She swallowed, still trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Lucy…Luce was in an accident."

* * *

Lucy's eyes were cemented shut, and the only thing she knew was pain. She had no idea where she was, or how she got there. The more she concentrated, the more she could hear, but everything was fuzzy; fuzzy enough for her to know she hadn't just fallen asleep.

She felt a tingle on her left hand. Something soft had touched her, was holding on to her.

"You're sure?" she heard a woman ask, the voice sounding distant.

"Absolutely. Her brain activity is normal, it's just a matter of her waking up." Lucy didn't know that voice.

"But the stitches on her forehead…"

"It looks worse than it is, Detective Beckett. If you'd like I can show you the scans again."

_Detective Beckett_. Lucy knew that name. The female voice she had heard was her mother's, and soft thing still holding on to her was her mother's hand. The unknown voice must have been a doctor.

Staring intently into her daughter's closed eyelids, Kate took a deep breath, waiting a second before letting it out.

"No, that's okay," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"She's going to wake up." Lucy knew that voice right away; it was her father's.

Rick took hold of his daughter's other hand.

Standing behind Kate, Alexis placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Mom," she said.

"I know that," came Kate's indignant reply. Lucy knew, no matter how deep of a slumber she was in, that her mother was acting tough, putting on a front; she just didn't understand why.

"Come on, baby," Kate whispered. "Please wake up."

Lucy felt her mother's hand touch the left side of her head. The right side was throbbing slightly, giving her a woozy feeling, like she had been shot up with a bunch of painkillers.

Alexis ran a hand over her mother's hair, before announcing that she would go call Martha.

Lucy wished she could communicate to her family that she was okay, but some invisible force kept her pinned down. Every part of her was paralyzed. She felt her mother rubbing soft circles on her hand, as if she were sending her a secret message, telling her over and over that she was here, waiting for Lucy to wake up.

But all Lucy could do was fall back, deep into her haze.

* * *

"It's been almost two days, Dr. Taylor," Kate breathed.

"Think of what her body went through though, Mom," Alexis reasoned, sitting at the window seat of Lucy's hospital room with Joey, an arm wrapped around his shoulders.

"Exactly," the doctor said from the doorway. "Her brain activity is normal, her vitals are strong. Her body just needs to heal."

"Well why can't it heal faster?" Kate snapped.

"Kate," Rick said her name gently, pulling her into his arms. Kate choked on a sob, no longer caring if her children could hear.

"I can't lose her too, Rick," she whispered into his ear.

"I know, I know," he said, holding her tightly.

Although she was still asleep, Lucy could hear everything that was said over the past few minutes. She had only ever heard her mother cry like this a handful of times in her life, and every time had had to do with her siblings, her grandmother, or her. The worst, Lucy remembered, had been when her sister had gone missing those few days during her first year of college; she didn't think her family had ever been so scared, and she remembered her mother saying over and over 'I can't lose her too.'

A burning pain rattled around inside Lucy's ribcage, knowing that Kate seeing her like this is, in a way, reminding her of losing her own mother.

Moments later, she felt someone beside her again, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Lucy?" A small voice whispered her name. She knew right away it was Joey. "If you wake up I promise I'll never be a pain in the butt again. And I'll let you beat me at laser tag as many times as you want."

Lucy wanted to laugh. If she were awake she would tell him she could beat him whether he let her or not, but her body was still frozen stiff. She felt so bad for her little brother; only ten years old, he probably didn't understand a lot of what was going on. Either that, or no one was really telling him what was going on.

Then again, Lucy didn't understand what was going on either, and she was the one stuck in the hospital bed.

Watching her children, Kate stifled a small laugh, the lump in her throat making her voice catch. She knew that were her daughter awake she would roll her eyes. Nothing could ever make Joey be less of a pain to his younger older sister. He was his father's son, after all.

Hearing her entire family in the room, Lucy wanted nothing more than to wake up, and she tried harder than ever to make something – _anything_ – move.

Her two middle fingers twitched.

Joey, still sitting on his sister's bed, jumped. She had moved.

"Mom! Her fingers moved!" he said.

Kate rushed back to her daughter's side, along with Rick and Alexis.

"Lucy? Honey?" she said softly. "Luce, I'm right here, can you hear me?"

After straining every muscle possible close to her eyes, a sliver of white light blinded her. She heard her father tell her sister to go get Dr. Taylor.

She had no idea how much time had passed until another, brighter light shone in her face.

"Lucy, can you open your eyes?" The voice that was Dr. Taylor asked kindly. The light was so bright it hurt Lucy's head, but she forced her lids open even further as the doctor stepped back, trying intently to find her mother.

"Mom…" she tried, but her voice was raspy and almost non-existent.

"Hey, baby girl," Kate smiled at her daughter, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm right here, we're all here." She let out a long breath, grabbing Lucy's hand and resting her forehead against it.

When she looked up again, Lucy noticed her mother's face was flushed, her normally beautiful hazel eyes swollen and sad. Letting her head roll to the side, she saw her entire family looking back at her, her father and sister both with relief and sadness, and her poor brother scared and trying desperately to hold back any tears.

"Hey, little man," she said quietly to Joey. "I'm okay."

Unable to hold it in any longer, Joey buried his face into his sister's shoulder and began to sob. Slowly, Lucy wrapped an arm around him, still feeling like she was being held back by cement.

"I'm sorry I was so annoying before," Joey cried.

"What? You're my brother, you're supposed to be annoying," Lucy said, in attempt to comfort him.

Rick came up behind Kate and placed a hand on her back, wanting to give the children a minute. He could feel how tense his wife was, just by one simple touch, and he knew right then he would do anything to make it go away, and to make Lucy better. Three out of the four most important women in his life were here in this room. They were all hurting in some way, and he could hardly stand it.

After a moment Alexis took hold of Joey, who's trying to calm himself, and sat back down at the windowsill, holding her brother in her lap.

Kate took another deep breath, grabbing Lucy's hand again. "Honey," she choked out, kissing her daughter's forehead. Rick sat down on the other side of her bed.

"I…" Lucy began. "What happened?"

Everyone in the room looked around at one another, and Kate and Rick hold eye contact for a while, the both of them silently deciding what to say.

"Honey, there was an accident," Rick said gently. His blue eyes were full of worry; he had been trying to hide the fact that he'd been crying.

"What?" Lucy breathed, looking at her mother, whose forehead crinkled the way it did when she was in pain.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Rick asked carefully.

Lucy thought back, her eyes opening and closing slowly. Various images flashed through her mind, but nothing concrete. Everything from last night on was fuzzy.

"I don't…" Lucy muttered, shaking her head.

"Sweetheart, you were in a car accident, on way home from Alexander's house," Rick told her.

Lucy racked her brain, remembering flashes of moments. Maddie had been making out with some guy, then searching for her car keys. They had been late leaving Alexander's house.

"We were running late," she rasped. "I'm sorry."

Kate closed her eyes, blocking more tears as she remembered how worried she had been upon noticing that her daughter was forty-five minutes late getting home. "Oh sweetheart, it's okay. Don't worry about that," she said.

"The car," Lucy whispered. She remembered turning her head and seeing nothing but two huge headlights coming toward her and Maddie. "Headlights coming straight at us."

Rick inhaled sharply, hanging his head and fighting his own tears.

"Where's Maddie?" Lucy asked, and Kate rested her head against her daughter's hand again.

"Goose," Alexis began, using Lucy's childhood nickname, knowing how hard it would be for her parents to tell her sister what happened. She smiled through glassy eyes, trying to lessen the blow she was about to give, but a couple tears escaped nonetheless. "Maddie's gone, Lucy. She passed away right after the accident."

Right then Lucy swore her heart had stopped entirely. "What? No…no she didn't." Her confusion quickly morphed into cold dread.

"I'm so sorry, Luce," Kate whispered, kissing her hand.

Lucy couldn't breathe, but she was. "No," she said, her voice shaking, not sounding like her own. "She's not. She has to be here. She's always been here."

She attempted to sit up, but both her parents gently push her shoulders back down. Her siblings watched helplessly as her mother touched her cheek, holding it in her palm.

"Shh, you're okay, honey. It's okay, just breathe. Deep breaths."

Kate pressed Lucy's hand against her own chest so she could feel her even, deep breaths, and try to match them.

But it was no use. Lucy felt like she couldn't breathe at all, and she was panicking. Before she knew it, Dr. Taylor was back in the room, searching through a drawer and then injecting something into her IV. Within seconds everything was slowing down, and she slipped backwards, back into the darkness.

* * *

When Lucy woke up again, she immediately recognized the voices coming from the doorway: her parents, and then Lanie, the Medical Examiner at the 12th Precinct and her mother's best friend, and Detective Esposito, another detective at the 12th and family friend. She remembered what Alexis had told her, and her eyes quickly filled up. Slowly, she reached up and pulled the oxygen mask away from her mouth, grabbing the attention of the group.

Kate rushed over to her daughter. "Hey hon," she smiled at her, smoothing her hair and helping to remove the mask from around her neck. "How are you feeling?"

"My head," Lucy mumbled, reaching up to the right side of her head. But Kate stopped her.

"Oh, don't touch it yet, honey. You've still got some stitches there."

Lucy looked around the room. Lanie and Esposito were standing at the foot of her bed, and Lanie was smiling at her sadly.

"Hey, pretty girl," Lanie said. Lucy smiled, a small, unwilling smile.

"Someone snuck in to see you again," Esposito grinned, gesturing to his right. Following his gaze, Lucy noticed Joey, curled up fast asleep on a chair. The sight of him made her smile, a little more genuinely this time.

"Your dad says he wouldn't leave him alone when he went home to get clothes," Kate said. "Couldn't sleep at home without you there."

Rick nodded slowly, bending down to kiss his daughter's forehead. His son had been nothing if not relentless, to the point where it became virtually impossible to leave the loft without him.

"Espo and I are gonna go talk outside for a minute. I'll be back soon, sweetheart," he said.

Lucy nodded, watching as her father and Esposito left the room. Lanie took a seat on the right side of her bed while her mother remained, unwavering, sitting next to her on the left.

"Where's Lex?" Lucy asks Kate quietly.

"She had to go back to work for a little while, honey," Kate told her, smoothing her hair some more. "But she said she'd be back to visit again later tonight, and Grams is catching an early flight back, so she'll be in to see you too."

Lucy smiled to the best of her ability, turning her head back toward Lanie.

"How are you feeling, Luce?" Lanie asked.

"I don't understand," Lucy admitted. "I don't understand why this happened. I was mad at her. We were driving home when I realized she'd been drinking and I…I didn't know when I got in the car with her." She wiped a tear from her cheek. "I should have been the one driving. I should have known."

Kate pulled her daughter close and kissed the top of her head. "Honey," she whispered. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," Lucy responded, slightly angry. "I should have known. I'm her best friend. I should have realized, and now…"

"Lucy, listen to me," Lanie began gently. "Your responsibility was you. Not Maddie, or anyone else. I know she's your best friend, but you couldn't have known."

Lucy sighed, caught between wanting to pull away from her mother and wanting to be held. The feeling in the pit of her stomach was not going to go away any time soon, and no amount of emotional talks would change that.

"Luce," Kate said quietly, to keep her voice from betraying her.

Detective Beckett was a strong woman; anyone who met her, knew her, or worked with her knew that. There were not many things that broke her, but seeing her family in pain was definitely one of them.

"I know you're hurting now and you might not want to hear this," Kate said. "But…it's gonna get better, I promise. One day you'll wake up and you'll find that you don't mind carrying this around with you anymore. I know, I've been there. You'll be sad for a while and you'll wonder why, why did this have to happen to you, and to Maddie…but it'll be okay, you'll be okay."

Lucy looked up at her mother, her blue eyes swimming.

Kate took her thumb and wiped away a stray tear from her daughter's cheek. "I love you, sweet girl," she said, placing a kiss on Lucy's forehead.

Lanie placed a hand on Lucy's back as she curled into her mother, letting her guard down once more. The tears began to fall again and, face buried into her mother's chest, she cried, letting out every raw emotion she had. Yet Lucy still knew that even when her tear ducts finally dried, the hole in her heart that was her best friend would still remain.

* * *

"Kate!" Rick called out his wife's name when he spotted her in the hospital hallway later that night. He had been keeping vigil at his daughter's bedside for the past couple of hours while Kate had gone home to shower and change. Lucy had slept for most of the afternoon, and Joey had remained loyally at her bedside, curled up next to her with a book.

His private conversation earlier with Esposito had been necessary, but disconcerting to say the least. It was a conversation he absolutely had to share with his wife, but absolutely did not want to at the same time. But he knew if anyone were to threaten his family, Kate would stop at nothing to finish them off.

Kate rushed over to him, a concerned look on her face. "What is it?"

Rick ran a hand through his hair. "Before you go back in there, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Kate's concerned expression turned quizzical.

"It's um…well, after Lucy told us she saw the headlights coming straight toward them, I…I asked Espo if he could go check out the accident. Call me crazy, but Lucy said Maddie hadn't been that drunk – it took her until they were in the car to even figure it out – and my gut was telling me that this wasn't just another accident."

"Okay…" Kate said, and before she knew it she was going into full detective mode. "What did he find?"

"Well, when he and I were talking earlier today he mentioned something that might be of interest…something that I think, and _he_ thinks, might need to be investigated further."

"What is it, Castle?" Kate asked impatiently, caught between wanting to hear more about the accident and wanting to get back to her daughter. "Spit it out already."

"The police found evidence of skid marks from the truck that hit Maddie's car. It had swerved into the lane only about twenty feet ahead of them…but there was no evidence of erratic driving on their part before then, and Maddie had been driving in her lane. Esposito says there's sufficient evidence – enough evidence – to believe that this accident…may not have been an accident after all."

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**Thanks for reading! Reviews are always welcome :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello lovely readers! Thank you all so much for the awesome feedback on the first two chapters. I tried my best to address any confusion! Anyway, here's chapter 3 for you...hope you like!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 3**

Eventually, Lucy lost track of how long she'd been in the hospital. She slept so much that it became difficult to tell what was morning and what was evening. Her parents were constant visitors, always there when she needed someone to hold her hand or to let her guard down to, for which she was extremely grateful. Lucy was her mother's daughter; she held back a lot of her more serious emotions, never wanting others to see her cry – except for her parents. She had never been afraid to be vulnerable in front of her mother and father, and now, she didn't think she had ever felt so vulnerable in her life.

When her grandmother had come home she had immediately brought Lucy all of her favorite things; her pillow, her songwriting journal, a few blankets, most if not all of her collection of Jane Austen novels, and of course, the bubbly, theatrical Martha Rogers personality.

Her brother and sister spent as much time as possible with her too. It was Alexis' schedule that often kept Lucy on schedule too; she knew her sister had to work at the Times nine to five, so as soon as Alexis made it to her bedside, Lucy knew it had to be evening. Joey was extremely attentive to his sister, but in a good way this time. He would stay with Lucy 24/7 if she'd let him, and a part of her really wanted to because she knew she scared him, but she couldn't be selfish. He was only ten years old. He deserved to have as normal of a start to summer break as possible, and Lucy hated more than anything seeing that worried crease in his forehead that was almost identical their father's. Joey was too young for that.

Of course, there were some days where she would actually wake up in the morning, feeling like her usual self, thinking that everything she and Maddie went through was just some kind of insane nightmare. Maddie was still alive, happy and energetic as ever.

But more often than not she would wake up with terrible headaches, shaken up, knowing that when she finally was able to go home, Maddie wouldn't be there to greet her.

She had spent hours replaying the accident in her mind, or what she could remember of it; the car speeding right toward her and Maddie, headlights bright and menacing. Sometimes the lights seemed so intense that she wondered if this accident could have even been an accident at all, like there was no way the other driver couldn't have seen Maddie's car.

But Lucy shook away those thoughts; they didn't give her any sort of comfort whatsoever. It was easier to think that an accident was just that, an accident. It had been dark, and Maddie had been drinking. There was no way to tell what really happened, Lucy told herself over and over. And even if she tried to place any blame on the other driver, no one would believe her in a court of law, thanks to her best friend's underage intoxication.

A little over a week after the accident, Lucy sat up in bed dressed in yoga pants and a sweater, ready for discharge. Her concussion had healed enough that her doctor felt she could spend the rest of her recovery time at home, and for that she was extremely grateful. Her brain had begun to associate the smell of the hospital with her grief from losing Maddie, so despite how scared she was to return home and not have her best friend there waiting for her, she knew she would rather be there than spend one more night in this white-washed room.

"Dad said as soon as you get home and your head gets better we can finally have that laser tag rematch," Joey grinned, sitting down on the bed next to Lucy as the two of them waited for their parents to come back from filling out more insurance papers.

"What, you mean me kicking your butt the last five times in a row wasn't enough?" Lucy said, giving a small smile and bumping shoulders with her brother.

Joey was just about to respond when Kate and Rick appeared in the doorway.

"You guys ready to go?" Rick asked, wrapping an arm around Lucy's shoulders.

"You have no idea how much," Lucy sighed. "Sleeping here hasn't exactly been –"

But the presence of a disheveled-looking woman with shoulder-length dark brown hair in the doorway stopped her from finishing her sentence. It was local Defense Attorney Christine McKendrick, Maddie's mother.

After just one glance, Kate had to swallow the urge to slap her. Not only did she have issues with this woman before, as the DA who defended more than a few of the murderers Kate had caught, but now she was also the mother of the girl who drove a car intoxicated with Kate's daughter in the passenger seat.

"I…" she began, her eyes swimming. Lucy had never seen her so vulnerable before. "I'm so sorry."

Lucy couldn't bear to see her apologize when her heart was so obviously broken. Standing up, her knees wobbled slightly but she did her best to keep a straight posture as she went to hug her best friend's mother.

"It's not your fault," she whispered. Lucy felt the woman hold back a sob as they clung to one another, a mother's pain seeping into an already-grieving teenage girl.

"Luce," Kate said after a moment, her anger diminishing, but not enough to leave without saying a thing or two. She placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder as Lucy stepped back, giving her a sad but 'go easy' look. Kate's children knew as well as ever how much of a Mama Bear she was.

"We'll be right back, guys," Kate told the kids before gesturing for Christine to step back out into the hallway. Rick followed them closely behind.

"I'm glad Lucy's alright," Christine said quietly, and Kate's heart felt heavy. As a mother, she remembered the times she had thought she was about to experience what Christine was experiencing right now: when Alexis had been kidnapped, and now Lucy's time in the hospital.

"Look," Kate began, before Rick could express any condolences, like she knew he would want to. "I'm truly sorry for your loss, Christine. I loved Maddie too; she was…Lucy's best friend. But she also nearly killed my daughter that night, and that's gonna take some time for me to get past."

Kate took a deep breath as Christine bowed her head, pressing her lips together tightly. She thought about telling Christine what Rick had told her a couple days ago – that this accident may not have exactly happened by accident – but she held her tongue. Esposito didn't have enough leads and honestly Kate did not want to discuss anything with Christine – a grieving single mother – that she herself wasn't one hundred percent sure of.

She glanced up at Rick, letting him know with her eyes that she couldn't stand here and talk to this woman right now, before turning on her heel, heading back toward their children.

"You okay, Mom?" Lucy asked, noticing her mother's glassy eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Kate said, running a hand over her daughter's hair. Looking out the hospital room window, she noticed her husband gesturing apologetically to Christine, and secretly she felt grateful to him, for being able to do what she, at this moment, could not. "I should be asking you that." She smiled at Lucy to the best of her ability, rubbing her back gently.

"I'm just ready to be home," Lucy said, leaning in to Kate's side.

Kate exhaled, placing a kiss on her daughter's head, carefully avoiding her still-healing scrape.

Outside, Rick stood with Christine offering his condolences while at the same time trying to figure out the most inconspicuous way to tell her what Esposito had told him about the "accident." He knew without even having to discuss it with her that Kate wouldn't want him to let Christine in on any of the findings just yet – before any of them could even pursue the case further – but after seeing the look of complete devastation in the woman's eyes, how could he not?

As casually as possible, Rick placed a hand on Christine's arm, moving them away from the window.

"I just, some nights I sit around the house thinking Maddie'll walk through the front door, plop down next to me, and tell me all about how school went that day…like she used to. And then I remember…" Christine's voice trailed off as she wiped her eyes.

"Christine," Rick began quietly. "There's something I think you should know about the girls' accident."

Christine looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "What is it?" she asked, looking confused. "The car was totaled. Nothing salvageable."

"After Lucy woke up, I had asked her if there was anything she remembered, anything at all about that night with Maddie. She said she remembered headlights – two bright headlights headed right toward them. But, I couldn't shake the feeling that something still wasn't right; Lucy couldn't even tell Maddie had been drinking until they were already driving, she couldn't have been that drunk. So I asked one of Kate's colleagues if he could go check out the scene of the accident."

Christine stared right into Rick's eyes, taking in his every word, her lawyer brain already on overdrive. "And? Did they find anything?" she asked.

"They were able to find enough evidence to indicate that this accident may not have been an accident after all," Rick said, his heart rate increasing, hating the idea that his daughter and her best friend's misfortune may have in any way been premeditated. Or that someone may have targeted his daughter and her best friend on purpose.

"So, you think someone intentionally tried to hurt our daughters that night?" Christine asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"We…don't know anything for sure yet. And Kate's caught between wanting to spend every waking hour with Lucy, and wanting to spend every waking hour at the precinct until we do," Rick said.

"I can imagine," Christine replied. "Look, it's always been just Maddie and me, I just wanted to do everything I could to give her the best life possible, and unfortunately more often than not that meant late nights at the office. And I know I've defended a lot of bad people in my line of work, but I always did my best to keep my work and my life with my daughter separate. Most of my clients didn't even know I had a child. Honestly I can't think of anyone who would go out of their way to hurt her…at least not off the top of my head. Can you, think of anyone who would want to go after Lucy?"

Rick looked down at the floor, thinking. He remembered when Alexis had been taken, but in the end that had had more to do with his CIA agent father than with Alexis herself. Not to mention, Rick's father had made sure none of her kidnappers survived when that bomb went off.

There was no way that could be connected to this accident. Of course there was always the other thing…

"I…" he started, but was cut off by his wife stepping out of their daughter's room.

"Rick?" Kate called his name. "You coming?"

"Yeah," he said, giving her a smile. "Yeah, I'm coming. Christine, if you need anything," he said, turning to her. "Please don't hesitate to call." As discreetly as possible he glanced into her sea green eyes, letting her know he would keep her in the loop to the best of his ability.

"Thanks, Rick," she said, her heels clicking as she started down the hall toward the door. "Take care, Kate."

Kate nodded in her direction before turning toward her husband. "Thanks," she said. "For talking to her when I…"

"No problem," Rick said gently, placing his hands on his wife's shoulders. "You have every right to be upset with her."

"Let's just…not talk about it anymore for a little while, okay?" Kate asked hesitantly. "At least for today. Right now, I just want to get our daughter home and forget the outside world exists for at least twenty four hours."

Rick smiled, a genuine smile this time. "I could not agree with you more."

* * *

As soon as she stepped through the front door, Lucy was immediately engulfed in a sea of brilliant red hair. Her sister and grandmother, along with Pumpkin the cat, had all been there waiting for her. She had expected to feel overwhelmed, like an exhibit at the zoo, having her semi-large family all surround her, watching her every move; but instead she felt strangely comforted, standing there in her grandmother's warm embrace.

"Oh darling, I'm so glad you're home," Martha said, cupping her granddaughter's cheeks in her hands.

"Me too, Grams," Lucy sighed, giving her grandmother a small smile. "I missed you."

Martha gave her a smile in return, but it was a sad smile. Lucy knew her grandmother was a good actress, but she quickly discovered that no amount of talent could help even the great Martha Rodgers when it came to family being in pain.

"I swear," Martha said, still smiling to keep her voice from breaking, and running a hand through Lucy's wavy hair. "Only someone with your grandmother's genes could survive a week in the hospital and still have fabulous hair."

Lucy let out a soft laugh, grateful for her grandmother's attempt at a joke.

"Speaking of hair, I just thought I should warn you in advance that this guy's made a permanent home out of your bed this past week," Alexis said, walking up to Lucy and holding Pumpkin.

Lucy looked straight into her sister's matching blue eyes before taking the cat from her and squeezing him tightly, his cold nose pressing against her neck as he began to purr. Then, without a word she stepped into Alexis' embrace, feeling her guard starting to break down again, for what she knew wouldn't be the last time. Closing her eyes, she heard her father and brother talking in the distance – something about the summer camp he was supposed to go to next month – as she rested her head against her sister's shoulder.

At that moment, she didn't want to know anything but Alexis. Even though biologically they were only half sisters, the bond between them was stronger than ever, to the point where they could often guess what the other was thinking without even having to ask. Ever since Lucy was born her sister had never lived more than twenty minutes away from her; but it was days like today where even that short distance felt too far.

By now everyone had dispersed, wanting to make Lucy's return as normal as possible, and she appreciated it. Just like her mother, she hated it when people fussed over her.

And Kate knew this. Except she _was_ a mother, and it took everything she had not to constantly fuss over her children whenever they were hurting.

She watched her daughters embrace, biting her tongue when she heard Lucy tell Alexis she was going to head upstairs to get settled in. If Kate could have her way, she'd follow Lucy around all day without any hesitation, but she knew her daughter would kill her for that, and she cringed internally at the thought of someone doing that to her if she were in Lucy's situation. So she sat back, paid attention to her ten-year-old, giving her middle child some space.

Breaking away from Alexis' hug, Lucy made her way upstairs slowly, her body still sore and stiff.

Once she made it to the top she set Pumpkin down on the floor, opening her bedroom door slowly. Her heart lurched, a significant lump forming in her throat for the millionth time over the past week. Aside from the pillows her grandmother had taken from her bed, the room looked exactly the same as it had the night she and Maddie left for the party.

Lucy dropped her small duffel bag on the floor next to her desk, taking a deep breath and slipping off her zip-up hoodie. Glancing over toward her closet door, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. The scrape along her hairline was still visible, and Lucy dared not stare at it too hard, not wanting to see the lines left behind by her two-dozen stitches. She had always been thin, but now her body looked frailer than ever – her cheeks and collarbone were more prominent than usual, and bruises still stained the right side of her face and arm.

She was surprised the nurses hadn't constantly been trying to shove food down her throat throughout her stay. Then again, how could she even think about eating – or doing anything, really – when her best friend was dead?

Before she knew it, a fresh round of tears were making their way down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around herself. It felt so surreal, standing here in this room, this room that had been hers her entire life; this room that looked exactly the same despite how much had changed.

Through her clouded vision, Lucy noticed above her desk on the wall a picture of her and Maddie, taken just last year at their sophomore homecoming. Both girls were dressed in colorful gowns – Lucy's maroon and Maddie's lavender. Lucy had never really been one for dresses (the one thing she and her sister did not have in common), but Maddie had pretty much forced her hand anyway, and Lucy remembered spending that entire afternoon with a curling iron two inches from her scalp and a can of hairspray in hand.

Choking on a quiet sob, Lucy quickly ripped the photo from the wall, hugging it to her chest and hating herself for being such a pain about going to homecoming in the first place. It had been Maddie's last one; she'd never get to go to another.

Still holding onto the photo as tightly as possible, Lucy crawled into her bed and covered herself completely with blankets.

"I'm sorry, Maddie," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

She curled herself into a tight ball before letting herself cry, safe beneath her three layers of blankets. Her whole body shook, and it was all she could do to remember to keep even breaths.

Suddenly, without even hearing a knock at the door, she felt someone crawl into bed behind her and a pair of arms wrap around her middle. She would know them anywhere.

"Shh," Kate soothed, pressing a kiss to the back of Lucy's head. "You're okay, baby. You're okay. Deep breaths."

Lucy continued to cry, squeezing the photo with one hand and one of her mother's in the other.

Kate had wanted to give Lucy her space, but once she heard her crying, she could no longer help herself. Lying there soothing her sixteen-year-old girl, Kate was reminded of when her daughter was a baby, so tiny in her arms, her little fingers always keeping a tight grip on Kate's as if she were afraid her mother would leave and never come back. It was almost as if she knew that that was exactly what her big sister's birth mother had done, and it broke Kate's heart.

Now, Kate swore her heart was ripping apart yet again. Especially considering everything her husband had told her recently. What if someone had targeted their daughter? Wanted to hurt her? Kate could hardly bear it. Here was this sweet, wonderful, and caring girl who had never done anything to hurt anyone in her life; the idea of someone going after her baby made Kate want to kill, and at that moment she knew without a doubt that she would stop at nothing to keep her safe.

"Mommy," Lucy choked, trying to catch her breath.

"I'm right here, baby," Kate said, lips pressed against her head. "I'm not goin' anywhere." Still huddled under the blankets, Kate took her hand and tucked her daughter's mousy brown hair behind her ear, closing her eyes to block her own tears at the sight of her scrape.

"I'm sorry," Lucy said, forcing the words out.

"Sorry for what?" Kate asked softly.

"I'm sorry I didn't want to go to homecoming with her," Lucy cried. "I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend…"

"Honey," Kate said, stroking her daughter's hair. "You were her best friend. You were there for her when her mom couldn't be…and she loved – she _loves_ you – more than you'll ever know."

"Well I don't feel like I deserve it," Lucy said stubbornly, wiping her cheeks.

"Honey, look at me," Kate said gently, not wanting to push Lucy but at the same time wanting to make sure she was heard.

Lucy exhaled before slowly turning over in her mother's arms, until the two of them were face-to-face, still covered by the mound of blankets.

Kate's chest clenched, seeing her daughter's normally beautiful blue eyes so red and puffy. She placed a hand on Lucy's cheek, rubbing soft circles with her thumb.

"You have so many people who love you. Your dad and me, your brother and sister, Grams, your friends…Maddie _loves_ you, Luce, and you absolutely deserve it. I know I love you, and your brother and sister, more than anything else in the world, no matter what."

A couple more tears rolled down Lucy's cheek and onto the bed sheet as she snuggled closer to her mother.

"I promise you, sweetheart. I promise I'll always be here for you. And when you need me, just call my name; I'll always find you."

* * *

**Reviews are always welcome :) Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey all! Sorry for the delay, I graduated from college last weekend and got a little (or a lot) caught up in the goings on of school and the realization that I now have to go out into the real world. But here's chapter 4 for you! Hope you like! Also, just a side note (and spoiler alert)...I was totally not pleased with the season 6 finale (we didn't even get to see the wedding wtf) so I hope at least some of you enjoyed it just for the show's sake. haha**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

To Richard Castle, walking into the 12th Precinct was, and in a way always had been, like taking a breath of fresh air.

From the very first time he worked with Detective Kate Beckett on a case he knew, no matter how deep down, that she was the one for him. He couldn't even think of a single word to describe the way she had made him feel: fascinated, inspired, enamored, and, at times, more than a little frustrated. Of course he knew he had annoyed her to no end too, but that never stopped him. He knew even if he no longer had the mayor on his side, he would do everything in his power to remain a part of the 12th.

Solving real-life murders was no longer 'research,' it had become his life.

The Precinct had become his second home.

Seeing a smile on Kate's face had become the highlight of his very existence.

Except today, upon walking into that very same Precinct, Rick did not taste any fresh air; instead, he felt like he was being suffocated and it took all the strength he had just to put one foot in front of the other.

"Hey Castle," came the familiar voice of Detective Kevin Ryan.

Rick looked up. Ryan and Esposito greeted him, offering warm smiles that to him, were halfway between normal and I'm-sorry-your-family-is-hurting-and-your-daughter-lost-her-best-friend-and-almost-died smiles.

"Hey guys," he exhaled, offering them a small smile in return.

"Thanks for coming out here bro," Esposito said. "We just figured this might not be a conversation you wanna have at home right now."

"How's Lucy holding up?" Ryan asked.

"As good as can be expected," Rick said. "Some days are better than others. Kate hasn't really left her side since she got home but that's to be expected…"

"Have you two had the chance to really talk at all?" Ryan asked, leading the other two men into a conference room. "Talk to Lucy?"

Rick sighed. "No, not really. Not since the hospital."

"Castle," Esposito said, giving him a look.

"There just hasn't been a good time," Rick replied. "And when it seems like there _is_ a time I look at my daughter's face and I just…she's just a kid. I want to keep her safe; I don't wanna scare her. And every time I try to talk to Kate she interrupts me to go tend to one of the kids."

A collective silence filled the room for a moment; both Ryan and Esposito were giving Rick sympathetic looks, making it even harder for him to breathe.

"So," Rick began. "You were gonna tell me what you found…"

"Yeah…" Ryan began somewhat apprehensively.

"Right now we're at a bit of a dead end," Esposito finished.

"The truck that hit Lucy and Maddie was completely totaled, but after a little bit of digging we were able to get the license plate number. It was traced to a Calvin S. Mumson in Washington Heights," Ryan said.

"Only when we went to check it out the address didn't exist," Esposito continued.

"So we ran the name through the system again, just to be sure, but…same result," Ryan concluded.

"So you're saying the man who hit my daughter and _killed_ her best friend doesn't even exist?" Rick asked, bewildered.

"We're saying we're gonna do some more digging," Ryan replied. "But right now…dead end."

"CSU is gonna sweep through the junkyard where the truck was taken again, try to look for more fingerprints, anything that can give us a lead," Esposito said. "In the meantime, I know Beckett is your wife but if you're worried for your family's safety we're more than willing to set up protection around your building and Alexis's."

The truth was, Rick _was_ worried. He just didn't know what to do. He too was at a dead end.

"Think about it," Esposito said when Rick didn't respond. "But do talk to Beckett. I know if Gates had her opinion she'd say the conflict of interest is too great for her to make any rational decisions, but she's still one of the best this precinct has ever seen. She might be able to help."

Rick's brow furrowed. He knew the two detectives were right; as difficult as it was going to be talking to Kate, he had to do it. Yet the only time he had ever had second thoughts about delving into a case with his wife was when it had to do with her mother, her family; now, Lucy was both of their family, so where did that leave them?

"You're right," Rick said.

The three men stood up, and Esposito gave Rick a friendly pat on the back.

"Hang in there, bro," he said.

"Thanks," Rick nodded, as they all exited the small room. "And, I'll be sure to tell Kate what you found."

He cut himself off before he could finish the rest of the sentence: '…because if I don't, I'm afraid things will get a lot worse before they get better.'

* * *

She hadn't expected sleeping at home to be this difficult. As soon as she had left the hospital Lucy thought she would be able to just fall into her own bed and forget the world; forget that her best friend was dead, that she felt she was partially to blame, and that there was nothing she could do about either of those things.

She had thought being at home would make her feel safer, surrounded by her parents, brother, and grandmother, but instead a part of her felt like she was the one bringing danger to her family. Here this terrible thing had happened to her and Maddie, so, however irrational, she thought there _had_ to be some kind of negative karmic force following her around…right?

The hours passed by; nothing was happening but everything was happening at the same time. Every so often Lucy would sit at her bedroom window and watch the people of New York down on the street. From up here they looked like ants. But each and every one of them were moving forward, going through the motions – going to work, coming home from work, having dinner with their families – as if the world hadn't lost an extraordinary teenage girl, and one of the most important people in Lucy's life.

She knew she was being irrational; of course complete strangers would move on with their lives as if nothing had happened, because nothing _did_ happen…to them. But the thought of moving on with her life, of acting completely 'normal' and 'okay' made Lucy feel sick to her stomach. There was no way anything could be completely normal ever again.

Maddie was supposed to be there for everything, just as Lucy was for her.

They were supposed to go to the same college and be freshman roommates.

They were supposed to study abroad at the same time – Maddie in Italy and Lucy in France, so they could visit each other and be exposed to a 'plethora of European men,' as Maddie had put it.

They were supposed to be in each other's weddings.

So many things they were supposed to do together and now they never would, and Lucy had no idea how to move past that.

The night easily became her least favorite time. Like a faithful blanket, Pumpkin the cat would curl up at her feet; yet she would lie awake, paralyzed by the sound of sirens and cars driving by on the streets below. It was nights like those where Lucy wanted more than anything to crawl into bed with her mom and dad and like a small child, and believe without a doubt that they could make all the evils of the world disappear. But now she was old enough to understand that that wasn't how life worked.

She couldn't rely on other people to fix things for her; the most she could do was figure out how to fix herself.

Then there were nights like this one, where her mind would reach a point of such extreme exhaustion that there was nothing else for her to do but fall into a fitful slumber. A slumber that would only last two hours at the most before headlights haunted her subconscious, forcing her awake, drenched in sweat and screaming for Maddie – the one person who could never hear her.

Her father's soft but strong hands shook her out of it.

"Lucy. Luce, honey, look at me, you're okay," Rick said, hands placed carefully on his daughter's shoulders.

For the first time he had made it up here before his wife, as he had been sitting awake thinking about the accident, and how he was going to bring it up to his wife. Ever since his visit to the Precinct today his mind had been spinning.

Lucy took deep breaths, her father's voice sounding so close and yet so far away. She held onto it as tightly as she could.

Rick placed a hand on her cheek as she opened her eyes; after a moment of adjustment her deep blues met his. He was awake and alert.

"Dad…" she half-whispered, half-cried.

Rick pulled her in close. "It's okay. I'm here, I'm here."

Lucy clung to him, still trying to catch her breath. Her whole body trembled as Rick held her, waiting for her to calm down.

"I'm so tired, Daddy," she said, resting her head on his shoulder and squeezing her eyes shut. Rick knew she wasn't just talking about the inability to sleep; she was emotionally exhausted.

"I know," Rick said, wishing more than anything that he could take his daughter's pain away.

"I keep seeing those headlights, and her face…why did this have to happen?" Lucy cried.

Pulling back from their embrace, she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Rick felt his chest tighten, once again seeing how much his younger daughter looked like Kate, seeing the same fear in her eyes that he did when he saw Kate up against a gun for the first time after being shot.

He had wanted more than anything at that moment to pull Kate into his arms and never let her go, to keep her safe forever. But he couldn't. At the time they were nothing more than work partners, technically speaking, 'colleagues;' a writer and his muse. He couldn't give into his feelings.

But now he could. He knew how much his daughter was like her mother – stubborn, never wanting to ask for help with anything – but at least there was nothing keeping him from holding her in his arms, trying to ease her pain.

That, and of course trying to figure out who hit her (and killed her best friend) in the first place.

"I wish I knew why bad things happen, Luce," Rick said, tilting Lucy's chin up so she'd see him. Another tear escaped down her cheek. "But I do know that it's gonna get better. I'm gonna do everything in my power to make it better."

He wanted to kick himself for not thinking of something better to say; he was a writer for god's sake. But he couldn't tell her he was trying to figure out if and why someone hit her and Maddie on purpose; he wanted to with all of his might, but Lucy was his little girl. It had been easy, while sitting with Ryan and Esposito this afternoon, to think that he might be able to say something to her, but now, face-to-face with this girl who in his mind he'd always see as three years old, every fatherly instinct in him told him to keep her as sheltered as possible, just as they had after Alexis had been kidnapped.

Lucy just nodded, feeling her father's stress radiating throughout the room. He'd deny it until the day he died, but she knew how stressed he was. And she hated herself for it. Exhaling, she leaned back into his embrace, resting her head against his chest as the two of them just sat there, rocking back and forth and trying to keep the darkness from swallowing them whole.

What neither Rick nor Lucy knew was that when Lucy had woken up, so had the entire household.

Of course Kate had sprung out of bed and raced up the stairs toward her daughter's bedroom, only to find out that her husband was already there. She hadn't even noticed Rick hadn't been in bed with her to begin with.

Kate stood, listening to Rick comfort their daughter, her eyes welling up. Lately crying had become a natural side effect of thinking about her middle child, because she knew exactly the kind of pain she was experiencing, and it was the kind of pain she would wish upon no one. To Lucy, this was a freak accident; Maddie had been drinking and someone drove up and hit them. But both Kate and her husband knew – or at least had a very strong hunch – that this was no accident, and just thinking about Lucy finding that out filled her body with cold dread. Kate didn't' even want to accept it herself. She remembered the moment she found out the person she had loved more than anything else had intentionally been targeted and killed; it had been, to date, the absolute worst moment of her life.

If there was one thing Kate knew after becoming a mother, it was that it was possible to love someone so much it hurt, and standing here in the middle of the hallway lit only by a soft night-light, that hurt spread through her very core.

"Mom?" A small voice came from behind her.

Kate spun around. Standing behind her was not only her son, but her mother-in-law and older daughter as well. Alexis had been spending more time at the loft than usual ever since the accident. All three of them looked at her with concern.

"Is Lucy okay?" Joey asked.

Kate looked down at him, her hazel eyes meeting his, before running a hand over his dark hair. "She's fine, honey," she said. "Just a bad dream."

"But they've been happening a lot," he said. "Is she dreaming about the accident?"

Kate took a deep breath. "Yeah, baby, she is," she sighed.

Joey's brow furrowed in concern. He looked almost identical to Rick, and Kate's heart weighed heavy.

"Come here," she said, opening her arms to her son. Joey hugged her tightly, his head reaching just below her chest. Kate ran a hand up and down his back. "Your sister is gonna be just fine, okay?" she whispered.

"You promise?" Joey choked.

"I do," Kate whispered against her son's head. Her mind was racing, and she wished she could force herself to talk to Rick, ask him if he had found anything else. She hadn't been taking on any new cases at the precinct over the past week, deciding staying by her daughter's side was more important than spending twenty-four/seven in the office chasing something that might not even be there and that she wasn't sure she even wanted to face. And Captain Gates had told her to take as much time off as she needed.

After a moment she looked up, locking eyes with Martha in the dimly lit hallway, silently asking if she could take Joey back to bed. Martha nodded.

"Come on, darling, why don't you and I go downstairs and I'll put on a pot of tea," Martha said, placing a hand on Joey's shoulder.

"Okay," he nodded against his mother. Kate kissed the top of his head before letting go of their embrace, watching Martha place a hand on his back and lead him toward the stairs. Kate glanced toward Lucy's bedroom door; Rick still hadn't come out. She imagined he would sit in there until their daughter fell back asleep, which could take a while. Sighing, she ran a hand through her tousled hair and strode back down the stairs toward her bedroom.

Alexis just stood there, watching, unsure whether to follow her mother or go back to her own room. She thought back to the last time she had seen her mother this stressed out and in this much pain; it had been after her kidnapping. But Alexis hadn't been living at home at the time; she was still in her freshman dorm at Columbia. She didn't see firsthand just how long it took her parents to move past what had happened, or endure worried glances every time she got up to leave a room, like her little sister was.

She exhaled, deciding to follow her mother, despite knowing that she would most likely get an 'I'm fine' and then be told to go back to bed.

Walking past the kitchen toward her parents' bedroom door, Alexis noticed the light from the desk lamp coming from her father's office; he had been awake long before Lucy's nightmare.

Shaking off the thought of her father sitting awake stressing over the accident, Alexis pushed open the bedroom door slowly.

"Mom?" she said quietly. Kate was sitting up on her side of the bed, leaning against the headboard with her head turned away from the door.

"Yeah," Kate said, wiping her eyes.

Alexis took that as a cue to come in. Just as she did almost every night for a month after the adoption was finalized, she crawled into the middle of the bed next to her mother, wrapping an arm around her middle. To her surprise, Kate didn't push her away; instead, she held her close, like she was that little girl again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Alexis asked quietly.

Kate just sat there in silence, running a hand through her oldest child's smooth red hair. Even when she was little, Alexis had always been one of the smartest people Kate knew, and (however inadvertently) had helped her and Rick solve several cases. Right now she wanted nothing more than to melt into her daughter's embrace and let out every raw emotion built up inside. Before she had met Rick, such a thing would have been impossible for her to do, but such was another wall he had succeeded in tearing down; the wall that blocked what seemed to be every single emotion Kate felt.

Except now, she had to keep that wall up. As smart and strong as she was, and even though she was 25 years old, Alexis was still Kate's child, and as a mother, it was Kate's job to comfort Alexis, to be the one to tell her that everything was going to be okay, even if it wasn't. It wasn't Alexis' job to take care of Kate.

"I'll be fine, honey," Kate said hoarsely.

Letting out a sigh, Alexis pulled away from their embrace slightly. She knew her mother was holding back, and she understood why, she just wished she wouldn't.

"I know…I know we're kind of switching roles here but, you've been there for me – and for Dad – so much over the years, I just, I want you to know that I'm here, for anything you need," Alexis reassured her.

Kate squeezed the girl tighter, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I love you so much, you know that don't you?"

Alexis nodded against Kate's chest. "I know; I love you too."

"I'm just scared," Kate whispered.

"Scared of what?" Alexis asked. "It might take some time, but Luce's gonna be okay."

"No, I'm not just talking about the accident," Kate shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Then…what?"

Kate took a deep breath, considering carefully her next few words.

"I'm scared that…the people who came after me are still out there. I've always been at least a little scared of that. But…it's nights like tonight, after the accident, where I think…what if they're not finished?"

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**Thanks so much for reading! Reviews would be much appreciated.**


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